Sly Cooper: Family Business
by XxSanitariumxX
Summary: A pair of thieves are caught in the act of stealing by none other than Carmelita, but who are these two masked individuals and what will Carmelita do with them when she catches them?


"THIEVES!"

Two shadowy figures froze in their tracks as the shrill voice of the vole they were stealing from alerted them of his presence. The taller one acted quickly and silenced him with a quick knock to the head with his cane but the damage had been done. The large task force from Interpol was already charging up the stairs of the mansion to where they heard the scream.

"Come on." The taller grunted. The smaller figure nodded and chased after the larger. They managed to get to the escape window when a beautiful vixen busted through the door of the mansion's art wing.

"FREEZE!" She shouted and pointed her shock pistol at the two thieves. Her backup mimicked her and the two lawbreakers had enough red dots on their bodies to look like they had severe chickenpox.

The taller figure looked to the shorter who was frozen with fear in the window. Rolling his eyes, the taller pushed the shorter out the window to the five story drop below. He quickly jumped out the window but not before blowing the vixen a kiss and receiving a barrage of energy blasts from Interpol's new shock pistols. Narrowly dodging the certain doom, the tall thief fell through the cold night air and deployed his parachute in the shape of a raccoon's head.

When he landed, he found that his accomplice had made the same choice as him and was perfectly alright on the ground.

"If you ever do that again dad, I'll-" The small thief growled but stopped when a volley of energy balls barely missed him.

"Let's go!" The taller exclaimed and grabbed his son by the arm and led him towards the extraction point.

"Dirty criminals." The vixen growled and went out through the window. Unlike her opponents, she didn't have a parachute so she stayed on the rooftop of the mansion and eventually to the tall heights of the city rooftops.

The vixen Carmelita followed the criminals from the seclusion of the rooftops, neither one of them suspected her presence as they both thought they had managed to get away. They stopped about a mile away so that the little one could catch his breath.

"That was something else!" The small thief gasped ecstatically. "Way better than video games!"

The taller thief (and apparently the littler one's father) chuckled to himself. "I told you you'd like it. Now what did we get tonight?"

There was a small pause between the two. Carmelita was just about to pounce when suddenly the smaller one spoke up.

"I thought you grabbed the loot!"

"_I _grabbed the loot!" The taller yelped. "I was knocking out that pompous ass Vickers! Why would I grab the loot! You were the one who-"

"Don't blame this on me! It's my first time for crying out loud." The smaller growled.

The taller growled and rubbed his temples a certain way that was so familiar to the vixen. Then it hit her. The kiss he blew to her, the way he rubbed his temples, and the smaller one's sass. Carmelita growled in her throat, vowing that the two thieves would pay before she disappeared into the night.

"Alright, alright. You're right. I should have told you to grab your mother's birthday present. Come on, we should get home before your mother wakes up."

The smaller grinned to himself and started laughing despite tonight's failure. "Mom would be pretty pissed if she knew about this, huh?"

"Yes she would, and don't use that language. Cooper men don't swear, it's unattractive." Sly pointed out to which his son Aiden rolled his eyes to when he wasn't looking.

They walked home and disposed of their masks and disguises before they got back. When they walked up to the front porch of their home the door opened so quickly it came off the hinges. The raccoon and the raccoon fox mix stopped in their tracks.

Carmelita stood in the doorway, her brown eyes blazing, muzzle curled back showing her pointed white teeth, and her claws were drawn. Sly knew that look whereas his son had yet to see his mother in a pure rage. His son shrank behind his father and whispered.

"Dad… are we in trouble?"

Carmelita let out a snarl making the both of them flinch.

"Son… we're in trouble." Sly said as Carmelita descended on them.

The Cooper boys kept their eyes glued to the linoleum floor as Carmelita paced around in the kitchen. She wouldn't stop growling and swearing in her beautiful tongue of Spanish, but now wasn't the time to admire her as she was most likely planning on how to bury her husband and her son's bodies.

"Honey-" Sly managed to say before being cut off.

"Don't you honey me!" Carmelita hissed. "You said you gave up being a thief, and yet here you are turning our son INTO A CRIMINAL!"

"He just wanted to show me our family's history mom. He said it was only this _one_ time." Aiden said trying to fend for his dad but that didn't help in the slightest.

"I ALMOST SHOT YOU!" Carmelita shouted. "I almost fried my own son because of your father's hair brained scheme to turn his only child into an outcast!" Carmelita growled and looked away. "You could have been killed." She said with tears in her eyes.

Aiden suddenly felt very guilty for going on tonight's raid and it showed in his lowered ears. Sly got up and hugged his beautiful wife.

"I'm sorry Carm, I didn't think Interpol would catch up to us."

"That's because you don't think ahead!" Carmelita growled. "What would you have done if he twisted his ankle? What would you have done if you were caught?"

"You know I wouldn't have let that happen. You're the only one that could have caught us."

The vixen continued to growl but didn't say anything. Her husband's arms were comforting but she hardly got any comfort in her state of rage. Her body was literally trembling and she wanted to sock him for putting her baby in such a danger. Luckily for him, Aiden wasn't hurt or she'd have a new trophy to put up in her Interpol office.

Eventually her husband's charms managed to break her solid resolve to somehow hurt him, and she sighed. "What were you trying to steal anyways?"

"Dad said we were going to steal the Fire Stone of India-" Young Aiden said hoping to get his dad off the hook but failed to see his father signaling him to stop.

"RINGTAIL!" Carmelita shouted nearly deafening Sly's sensitive ears.

"Yes love?" Sly asked nervously as he slowly stepped back towards the exit.

"Why, of all things, the Fire Stone of India?" Carmelita asked and pointed to the exit. Aiden took the hint and quickly ran out of the room, leaving his father to his fate.

'_Well, at least Aiden will only hear me die and not actually see me die.'_ Sly thought with a bit of dark humor as his wife stomped towards him.

"Well, I never really did get a chance to give it to you to express my love." Sly said as he backed up but for every step he took, Carm took two. "Since it's your birthday coming up, I wanted it to be special, and watching Aiden play Call of Honor; Modern Battlefield like a zombie made me realize how disconnected he is from his family history."

"He's my son too Cooper, he comes from a line of very prestigious and well respected policemen and women." Carmelita growled pointing a finger in his face with a claw extended.

"And he knows this considering he can't open up a history book without seeing a Fox somewhere in there." Sly chuckled. "But I rarely get to teach him anything about his Cooper blood."

"That's because he'll become a thief! He'll lead the life that you gave up and might wind up killed or behind bars the rest of his life." The vixen snapped. She scowled and swore in Spanish for a bit. "I should have just taken you in after shoving this ring up your-"

"But then you wouldn't have Aiden." Sly pointed out before she could finish that sentence. Carmelita frowned because she couldn't argue with that logic. "Not only that but who'd keep you warm at night?"

Carmelita looked into Sly's eyes and said. "Dmitri."

Sly's muzzle fell as he looked at his wife in shock and horror. The vixen started giggling which eventually led to full on laughter. The raccoon started to chuckle nervously before Carmelita smacked him across the face halfheartedly, although it still hurt.

"That was worth it." Carmelita sighed. "You're so cute sometimes Cooper."

"You were just kidding?" Sly asked to which Carmelita nodded. "Oh… good." He said slowly before he pounced on Carmelita. Using his swift dexterity and exquisite strength, Sly had Carmelita on the floor and pinned down to the kitchen floor and handcuffed all before Carmelita could blink. She only realized this when she felt her sides being tickled unmercifully making her laugh uncontrollably.

Carmelita screamed with a mixture of delight and anger. "SLY! STOP! STOP TICKLING ME!" She squealed between laughs.

She tried to push the bandit off her but with her hands cuffed and Sly pinning them down over her head, it wasn't going to happen. Instead she was at the mercy of the playful raccoon. He eventually stopped but not before she was hot, sweaty, and exhausted from laughing so hard and for so long. She gave her husband a stern look.

"Ah, ah, ah." Sly said and threatened to tickle her some more. "No more dirty looks pretty lady."

Not wanting to get tickled to near death again, Carmelita forced herself to give off a fake smile. "Okay Cooper, you can let me go, I'm not _that_ mad anymore."

"Okay _Mrs._ Cooper." Sly growled playfully as he removed his fingers from her sides. He got off of her and let her up slowly since she was still handcuffed.

"Alright, now let me go Cooper." Carmelita purred.

"Sure, no-" Sly said reaching into his pocket but froze. His brown eyes widened and he threw his hands into his pockets looking for the key.

"No." Carmelita muttered.

Sly stopped and cracked a nervous grin. "Uh… babe?"

"No…" Carmelita growled.

"I… I think I lost the key."

"NO!" Carmelita shouted and tried to wrap her cufflinks around Sly's neck. He ducked and dodged her but she kept chasing him around the house. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RINGTAIL!"

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE~~~ Alright, that was just an idea I had a while back and decided to get it out of the way. Just a quick pseudo-comedy of what would happen if Sly and his son got caught on a job by Carmelita. Maybe not all that great but oh well. Thanks for reading and have a good one.**_


End file.
